abolishing beam #21 TODAY = 9 more!!

Received dose #20 yesterday (Monday).......for the first time - I freaked out with the mask on.  Why now?!?!?  Why after 19 times of wearing the mask and then all of a sudden....... after my head was locked down and the techs left the room to do x-rays - I felt an overwhelming sense of nausea..... like OMGosh - nausea!!  I waved my hands (I am monitored by 4 different cameras) - the techs rushed in and took the mask off.  Well - after one more attempt (mask on, x-rays taken to assure the tumor is lined up with the beams and table moved into position) - ready to go...... a wave of nausea hit me again.....

I was scheduled to see the radiation oncologist anyways so they wanted me to see him before attempting the treatment again to see what could be causing the nausea. Come to find out - not only is my nausea associated with the nasty anti-seizure medicine, but we believe the nausea feeling was triggered by anxiety....which made matters worse.

For the last few treatments - I have not been taking the "relax" medication.....I do not want to be on medication.  I wanted to overcome the mask and show it who was boss.  Well my attempt of that FAILED.  I take that back..... I have come too far to let this allow me to feel defeated.

I was given something to help me relax and then #20 was administered successfully - YEAH!!!
I guess I forgot to wear my big girl panties yesterday!!!

Only 9 more times of wearing the suffocating mask and I will be DONE!!  

::suckeggdawg::

My hair continues to fall out on a daily basis.  A wad here - a clump there.  So for now - I am going to just buy a hat in every color and keep what little hair I have left - in a ponytail. I can still braid it, but the braid is getting thinner and thinner.  Thank God I had so much thick hair to begin with.

Picture taken this morning..... 

I was told I would only lose hair at the site of treatment which would be about the size of a quarter...... NOT! 

If I could wear my Rays hat every day - I would.  I wore a FSU hat on Monday (although it is lime green and white) ....... ignited a few comments (good and bad).

Today - I will wear my pink #24 (Jeff Gordon) hat and see what kind of comments that ignites.

EDIT:  Can't find my #24 hat..... 
today is RAYS attire all the way!  Let see what anyone has to say about our Rays!!!  

I see my neurologist on Thursday with hopes that he will start tapering me off of the anti-seizure medicine.....

Until then.... I will smile and take one day at a time....and try again tomorrow (today)
and the next, the next, the next.....

SED y'all......