Radiation - here we go......

Since we decided that radiation was the best way to ABOLISH the residual tumor  - I had a meeting with a different neurosurgeon and a radiation oncologist.  The type of radiation that will be administered is called FSRT = Fractionated Stereotactic Radiotherapy.  Instead of doing one single high powered dose - I will receive smaller doses for five days in a row.  It is better this way and easier on my brain.


NOW - the only draw back to this...... I have to wear a mask and it makes me feel claustrophobic..... not to mention that it  makes me look like something right out of a horror film.  Oh boy...... Let me first admit how claustrophobic I am.... I probably already have.  Even wearing a pair of socks makes me claustrophobic....    I can't even snorkel or scuba dive.  Confine me in any way and I will go crazy on you.  


Little did I know - this mask will cover my entire head - it has a front and a back and the two pieces attach in the middle alongside my ears.  The mask had to be molded to my face.  The radiation beams will penetrate my tumor within 0.1mm - THEREFORE - my head has to be totally still meaning - LOCKED DOWN!!


This mask will prevent my head from moving - PERIOD!  It is locked down to the table.


The mask is made out of a thermoplastic material.  The strips of plastic are immersed in warm water and then placed over your face.  The plastic is pressed to mold the shape of your face/head - completely covering your eyes, nose and mouth...... The plastic has holes in it - like fish net - but let me tell ya..... the holes don't matter.  You still feel like you are going to suffocate.  Once the plastic has cooled down - it hardens.


I was given a little pill to help me relax before the procedure and lets just say that it did not help at all!!!  By the time we were done - I was shaking like a leaf, jaw was chattering and I was almost in tears ready to hyperventilate.


After the mask was made - they put it back on me - locked it down to the table and put me in a CT machine that produced 3-D images to map out the route for the beams to ABOLISH the tumor.


Can't open your eyes, open your mouth or move your tongue.....totally still.


Have I made you a claustrophobic yet?!?!?


Here are a few pictures that Mark took while the mask was being made.  Just looking at the pictures causes me to FREAK!!

backside of mask is fitted and then a silicone strap was placed to 
attach to the locking strips on both sides. 

Silicone strip for nose bridge - like that little piece is going to allow me 
to open my eyes - yeah right.... 

thermoplastic strip is stretched over my face. 

locked down to table and the molding starts 

pressing the plastic to my face to make the mask.....they said it would feel like a warm, relaxing spa facial.... NOT!!!

pressing receptors on the mask that will simulate a 3-D image 
for the radiation beams

still pressing the mask.....

right about now..... I am ready to suffocate. 

pressing with cold towel to speed up the cooling/hardening process 
(doing me a favor since I was ready to FREAK)

my hands came out of the blanket and I was tapping my fingers - trying to get my mind off of not being able to breathe/open my 
mouth & eyes/swallow.... still freaking. 

simulating a 3-D CT to map/graph the map to my tumor

the end result..... and i get to keep it after therapy.  

I had a very advanced MRI performed today that will actually direct the radiation oncologist to the tumor. 

My treatments will start probably next Tuesday (the 27th).  I will go once a day for five days.  

I am going to have to have a serious talk with someone before Tuesday about sedation.  The little "relax" pill they gave me is not going to cut it.  Give me five of them or go ahead and knock me out.  

Can't think of a song to leave you with other than.....